Church of Agile

Following a plan. Over and over. We don’t need no education.

Shepherd and sheep

Sheep: “May I move an user story to another iteration? How long should our Sprint be? What if our daily standup takes more than 15 minutes?

Shepherd: “Don’t worry my dear. Subscribe to these courses and we’ll teach you how. You’ll get a shiny certificate!”

Just another brick in the wall. It’s always easier to follow. Even if the shepherd is not going in your direction. In fact, he has his own plans with you in the end. Great green plains demand skills, but offer freedom. Fresh juicy grass. Stay on the top of the hill. Keep your eyes open. Look for the coming predator and respond to change.

Agile giant

Chief Whatever Officer: “The world has gone crazy. They want agile. I want to have it on my desk tomorrow!”

Bunch of pale nonames: “Sir, yes sir!”

The other day the C?O was happy. Very happy. He got slides with beautiful boxes and arrows. According to the latest corporate identity manual. Finally he has got “the agile”. Let’s make a 5-year plan, define milestones and start selling it.

He and his customers didn’t notice that it’s the same 20-year-old waterfall process with loops and return arrows added. Isn’t it agile?

Busy bee

Newcomer: “What process do you follow? Is it Scrum, Kanban, RUP?”

The boss: “It doesn’t have a name yet, but I’ll tell you how it works …”

The young guy was disappointed that he will not learn anything that he can put to his resume. Companies want Scrum masters and quality certified professionals. He didn’t even understand what the boss has said.

The next couple of years he was simply doing what had to be done. Without knowing a name of it. If there was a need to implement something, he did it. If somebody wanted to have a new release, he did it. He was agile.

Agile sheep
Agile sheep

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